Lots of improvement since the earlier version, some world setting and couple plot points to look forward to.
Typos here and there, few sentences that don't seem very coherent. End punctuation missing for entire sections at times. About suggestions, for matter of consistency I'd prefer sticking to one type of narrator because between the personal "thoughts", the first person at the start, some parts with second-person narration and third person for most of last update feels a bit messy. In the end, you-do-you.
Image prompts for the house seem more based on fantasy rather than modern/future setting (which it seems presented as by the setting recap) but at least it's colorful, a bit funny reading the TV being thoroughly described but probably most deformed objected by image artifacts.
Amnesia plot device is fine but it feels like there are a lot of crucial elements which aren't mentioned that protagonists should tell or know (Why friends didn't visit, what protagonists know about the accident etc.). Other than advancing plot no idea what to even expect yet from the game (Whether it's going to branch with routes or stay linear, rpg elements or pure novel). The sounds/music are well inserted, early sections could use some music or background noise as well.
Thank you for the detailed feedback and taking the time to review my work.
I'm glad to hear that you noticed improvements since the earlier version. I appreciate your point about the consistency in narration. I'll work on sticking to a single type of narrator to avoid confusion.
Regarding the image prompts for the house, I understand the discrepancy with the modern/future setting. I'll look into adjusting those to better fit the intended theme.
The amnesia plot device is meant to unfold gradually, revealing crucial elements as the story progresses. I will make sure to address the points about the protagonists' knowledge of the accident and the friends' absence to ensure clarity.
As for the game's structure, it's planned to have branching routes with choices impacting the storyline, blending visual novel elements with some RPG mechanics. I'll also add more music and background sounds to the early sections to enhance the experience.
Thank you again for your feddback. It helps a lot in refining the project.
Ah, you are correct and I figured out what happened. When I extracted the new folder I told it to merge with and replace the old folder with the same name (Fujistory-1.0-pc). What I hadn't noticed, because I didn't think to check, what that 2.0 used Ren'Py's archive file structure (.rpa) while 1.0 used the uncompressed format. This resulted in almost none of the files save the .exe being replaced/removed when the folders merged. Apparently when running, it prioritized the uncompressed files and so ran it as 1.0
Good luck with your project! One piece of advice if you want to keep at it and hopefully realize your vision: know how you want to end the story. Once you determine the different ending(s), you'll be able to set milestones and orient your work accordingly. So many visual novels are never completed because the creators get lost in the process and don't know how finish. So start with end and work your way there.
Thank you so much for the encouragement and advice! I really appreciate it. Knowing how to end the story is a great tip, and I'll definitely keep that in mind as I work on my project. Setting milestones and having a clear direction will surely help me stay on track. Thanks again for the support and helpful insight!
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Android version?
Hi is there an ETA for the new update?
Hi 'm Dee912, what do you think of the first chapter?
is it good or bad?
please leave suggestions in the comments
it will be very helpful to develop this game in the future
Lots of improvement since the earlier version, some world setting and couple plot points to look forward to.
Typos here and there, few sentences that don't seem very coherent. End punctuation missing for entire sections at times.
About suggestions, for matter of consistency I'd prefer sticking to one type of narrator because between the personal "thoughts", the first person at the start, some parts with second-person narration and third person for most of last update feels a bit messy. In the end, you-do-you.
Image prompts for the house seem more based on fantasy rather than modern/future setting (which it seems presented as by the setting recap) but at least it's colorful, a bit funny reading the TV being thoroughly described but probably most deformed objected by image artifacts.
Amnesia plot device is fine but it feels like there are a lot of crucial elements which aren't mentioned that protagonists should tell or know (Why friends didn't visit, what protagonists know about the accident etc.). Other than advancing plot no idea what to even expect yet from the game (Whether it's going to branch with routes or stay linear, rpg elements or pure novel). The sounds/music are well inserted, early sections could use some music or background noise as well.
Thank you for the detailed feedback and taking the time to review my work.
I'm glad to hear that you noticed improvements since the earlier version. I appreciate your point about the consistency in narration. I'll work on sticking to a single type of narrator to avoid confusion.
Regarding the image prompts for the house, I understand the discrepancy with the modern/future setting. I'll look into adjusting those to better fit the intended theme.
The amnesia plot device is meant to unfold gradually, revealing crucial elements as the story progresses. I will make sure to address the points about the protagonists' knowledge of the accident and the friends' absence to ensure clarity.
As for the game's structure, it's planned to have branching routes with choices impacting the storyline, blending visual novel elements with some RPG mechanics. I'll also add more music and background sounds to the early sections to enhance the experience.
Thank you again for your feddback. It helps a lot in refining the project.
Thank you for the reply! Very encouraging to know you have plans for adding game features.
Yes, I will try to develop it as best as i can
Hey! Just letting you know that Fujistory-2.0-pc.zip is actually a re-upload of 1.0
no it's not, I just forgot to rename the folder inside the zip
Ah, you are correct and I figured out what happened. When I extracted the new folder I told it to merge with and replace the old folder with the same name (Fujistory-1.0-pc). What I hadn't noticed, because I didn't think to check, what that 2.0 used Ren'Py's archive file structure (.rpa) while 1.0 used the uncompressed format. This resulted in almost none of the files save the .exe being replaced/removed when the folders merged. Apparently when running, it prioritized the uncompressed files and so ran it as 1.0
glad you found it
Will there be a Mac or Android version available in the future?
Yes, the next version will be for Mac, but probably not yet for Android
An iterresting game with potential . At the moment it's very short, but I hope it will be continued !
Thanks for the feedback! We're glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for updates
Good luck with your project! One piece of advice if you want to keep at it and hopefully realize your vision: know how you want to end the story. Once you determine the different ending(s), you'll be able to set milestones and orient your work accordingly. So many visual novels are never completed because the creators get lost in the process and don't know how finish. So start with end and work your way there.
Hope this helps!
Thank you so much for the encouragement and advice! I really appreciate it. Knowing how to end the story is a great tip, and I'll definitely keep that in mind as I work on my project. Setting milestones and having a clear direction will surely help me stay on track. Thanks again for the support and helpful insight!
I FOUND THE ONE PIECE!!!!!
glad you like it